At the end of 2019, after some organizational changes I started to feel a bit rudderless. I was feeling unclear about where I was in my career and not sure what was next for me. I was looking for some direction and came across the Certified Agile Leadership course. So back in January 2020, I went to Boston and participated in CAL I. I really enjoyed the class and learned a lot of practical things to take back to my organization.
Later in 2020 living the Work from Home life, I looked at starting CAL II. When I reviewed the class overview, I was really excited about the 360 component and potentially learning more about how I was perceived by my peers and get to the root of what was holding me back. I was desperate for feedback and a push in the right direction.
As soon as we started CAL II and started on the True North Book, pretty quickly I realized that the 360 wasn’t the be all and end all. What I started to appreciate is that most of what I was seeking was right here all along—in me!
Deep down, I knew the leader I wanted to become, I know the person that I am even if I didn’t quite realize it. Working through the True North workbook – I can only describe as my “mid-life crisis”. The process of going through the book, really exposed “me” to myself in a way that I hadn’t or maybe didn’t want to before.
When we started the Saboteur work, we really took things to another level. Exploring my Saboteurs, not only by understanding them by definition, but really looking at “why” they are there. That process required a lot of soul searching, but the revelations were extremely powerful, and being aware of them and realizing when they are taking over, is something that I’m finding I think about almost daily. Understanding and having an awareness of these saboteurs is key to deciding “who” is in charge.. are my saboteurs going to run the show? Or am I? Are they irrational at times? Yes!
This has influenced my leadership style to have more compassion and empathy for others. I see potential saboteurs in others affecting them, I see them on their own journeys. I am paying attention to their intent instead of judging them on their impact.
One of the recommended readings for the course was The Four Agreements—this book is very thought-provoking and has me questioning and thinking about how I interact with my family and in some ways, the world.
The journey that I’ve been on over the last 6 months has been incredible, and in ways that I truly never imagined. I feel changed. I feel stronger. I feel clearer. Most importantly, I realize that there’s more to learn, and that this is just another step in my personal journey.
